How to Make Friends Through a Pick up Game of Basketball at a Community College

Today, I witnessed a movement.
A movement of people coming together for one cause. After I just after I got an A on a difficult paper I was writing, I decided to go work out at the gym at HACC. First, after I ran a half mile (poorly I might add) I decided to go shoot basketball in the gym. At first I just kept to myself. My friend was going to meet me there and I was anticipating and waiting for his arrival. After a while, when I realized I was “waiting for Godot” I decided I would start shooting with an acquaintance of mine that I met in my business class and a friend of his. After a while, we started shooting half court shots and began a “competition of sorts” of “who could make it first”. At first, it was three of us shooting. Sure, there were others in the gym, but they were shooting hoops by themselves and did not pay attention to what we were doing. After a while, they joined in and so did some others who were on the court. Soon, we had about 10 people chucking basketballs from half court for the fun of it. We started a movement. What once was one person doing something for the fun of it, turned quickly into an organized game of accuracy and strength. As a freshman in college, this to me is one of the beauties of college. Friendship for the simple reason that we have the smallest thing in common. The difference between a community college and a regular college, among other things is that here, we have to work at making friends. At a four year college that you stay overnight at, you make friends for the sheer fact that you see them most every day and do so without much work from either parties. Now, I understand and recognize that there is no doubt that relationships are work, but in the aspect of making friends that are “hey buddy! How’s it goin?”  acquaintances, the fact that you basically are in the same “community” as them for ¾ of the year makes the grunt part of the work already done for you. Since I started college back in August, I have experienced many life giving conversations and activities that just didn’t happen in high school. I have spent hours after class talking to people who I knew of in high school, but never said three words to. I have began frienships with people just beacuse they are in the same class as I am. I have gone and drank coffee with people that I litterally met yesterday.  Perhaps, my high school experience was not a normal one and in some ways, I have to accept that. I devoted those four years of my life to developing and excelling in the music program that my high school had to offer both in the band and in the choir. I spent my days singing and drumming between classes and my nights doing more of the same. In the fall, I concentrated on marching band and in the spring I concentrated on musical pit band. For these reasons, in high school, I never really had any meaningful “heart to hearts” that are so memorable to most people. It was not because I did not have close relationships with people, I guess those conversations just….didn’t happen. In college, I found a different reality beginning to take place. A reality that was filled with friendships for the simple reason of “Hey! Aren’t you in my English class?” or- my favorite “How’d you do on that test today?” I have come to find as I continue my journey of self finding in college that the life I currently experience is nothing like the one I had in high school when it comes to relationships both romantic and non-romantic the reality is, no matter where you look, everyone is looking for a best friend. I think a lot of people do poorly in college because they have not established that “friend group” that is so important at this age. In high school, I see that a lot of my success was based on the fact that I had good, strong friendships that made the day that much better. In college, all of the friends that we all once had moved away or just stopped talking to us because “We just don’t see each other that much anymore” In many ways, this is a good thing. I think kids and teenagers need a time in their life where they are forced to make new friends and leave the comfort zone. A great man once said “Outside of the comfort zone is where the magic happens”. As I continue my life, I find this to be more and more true. In college, everyone is moving out of their comfort zone. This can come in many different shapes and forms. For one person, it may be the reality of leaving a homeschool atmosphere that they experienced for the last 12 years and going to a real college. For some it may be the struggle of balancing a job, grades, a family a mortgage and college debt. For me, it’s been the change of atmosphere, the reality of challenging classes and like I said before, the challenge of making new friends. As we continued to shoot hoops, we began talking to each other and at the end of the time together, we all shook hands and said “good game” and that was that. I put my ball away and changed my clothes and drove home. I may never see those kids again and to me, that’s ok. The friendship was developed and we were all better off for it. In whatever I do in life, wheater it be through my work, or through my day to day life, I hope to cling to and cherish every single relationship I have and every single person that I come in contact with. For making their day better and for me to show them the love that I have inside of me for others, I can then begin to start my own movement, but this time, it will be more than just 10 people shooting hoops.